Remember The Fall
by redtrouble
Summary: A strange love story following a f!Jedi Knight's game progression after she awakes from the Emperor's domination and realizes she has been a prisoner of the Sith, with a dash of creative liberty.
1. Escape

**Notes:**

Hello everyone! There are a few things you should know before reading. The first is that this story follows events from Star Wars: The Old Republic and the Jedi Knight class story. The companions are all Jedi Knight companions, so as long as you have played the Jedi's story (or know it), there should be no confusion.

The second thing you should know is that Khana Kallys, the twi'lek Jedi Knight of this story, is my personal character in the game. Khanak'allys is her proper Rylothian name. When twi'lek leave their planet and mingle in other cultures, they often split their names in half, hence Khana Kallys. The characters Kre'tan and Zhan, who are briefly mentioned, are my friends characters that I played the Jedi story with. Kre'tan was a Jedi Consular and Zhan a Smuggler.

Thirdly, there is a whole backstory for Khana that I won't burden you with as it is not important to the story you are about to read, but there are a couple of things to note. They won't make sense now, but as you are reading, you will encounter small moments that this tid-bit will clear up. Kre'tan and Khana are sisters, both sold as slaves very young - Khana as an infant because she was extremely force sensitive, Kre'tan when she was a bit older. Khana was rescued by Jedi as a babe and raised in the Academy. Kre'tan was not so fortunate, eventually turning to the dark side of the Force when her power manifested in her. She eventually broke away from them, damaged, and sought the Jedi for training and help to heal her. She hopes that, in the light side, she can be whole again. That is when Kre'tan and Khana meet one another and begin their travels together. Zhan is a true friend of Kre'tan's from her old life.

The last thing you should know is that even though I have twisted the Jedi and Scourge's relationship to form my own story, I used much of the content already in game to do so. Personally, I think Scourge (at least, coming from a female angle since... well, I played a female) seemed like a potential love interest. C'mon, he's been waiting for you for 300 years! :P Maybe Scourge is a random pick, but for some reason... I really liked his character! So, without further ado... this silly little story. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

The truth of her awakening was still ringing in Khana's head when Overseer Chaskar came for her. Though he wasn't yet close enough to address her, she felt his presence in the Force and hesitated turning around to greet him, knowing her eyes were wide and her mouth gaping. Her late Master's word rung in her head so profoundly, all she heard were gongs of alarm and confusion wailing about a dark past she couldn't even remember. The anger, she realized with a slap of remorse, was still all-too present; it circulated her veins like a disease running rampant and she wondered how long it would be before she could purge this Sith sickness from her body.

Khana blinked at her surroundings: the Emperor's Citadel. She remembered it only from the time she had stormed it with the other Jedi Masters—a day that felt like yesterday, and yet, somehow, lifetimes ago. The walls were cold and dark, floor shiny and black, and the only splashes of color were red tapestries and banners paying homage to the Empire. The vastness of the room was made so by the shadows in the corners and by the open energy shaft guarded only by waist-high railing. Across the way from where she stood, red-clad guards were like statues on either side of the door.

Khana looked down at her clothes: tunics layered over her chest and cinched together at the waist with a wide, leather double-buckle belt, bracers and boots to match her waist piece, and cloth pants—all black. The lightsabers at her hips were her own. She reached back and felt along her head-tails, fingers stopping as they hit something metallic; her lekku, she realized, were pinched together in the back with silver cuffs normally seen on Nautolan. She was dressed as a Sith, wearing the uniform then as though she had all her life. _I have_, she tried to calmly remind herself. _I've worn this uniform all of my life. Black is just a color. It means nothing. I am not a Sith, and this is not a Sith uniform._

Khana remembered her Master's words and closed her eyes. _You were not yourself,_ he told her. _What you did in your time of darkness was not your fault_. Deep down, Khana didn't know if she believed him. Could she really excuse herself like that? But right then, she had to believe him. She had to in order to escape. She had to in order to focus on the now instead of what she had become, what she had done.

The Twi'lek took a deep breath to calm herself and began drawing on the Force for a cool clarity to wash away her doubts. She tried to purge the anger, too, but found it would not go; refusing to waste too much time on things that could be resolved later, she cleared her mind and considered the facts. They still believed she was one of them. The ruse wouldn't last forever, but if she played her cards right, she could maintain the façade long enough to find out what happened and get out of there.

Khana turned around and narrowed an angry stare on the red-skinned Sith who approached her.

"Sith Knight Kallys," he began with some chagrin, dipping his head in a shallow bow. She wasn't sure if it was his addressing her as a Sith Knight or at all that repulsed him the most. Still, hearing her rank within the Sith Order surprised her; though she didn't fully understand what a Sith Knight equated with, she used the balance of power in the Jedi Order and afforded herself some attitude.

"Overseer," she snapped back, glaring up at him.

He sneered at her tone but held his tongue. "One of the scum you arrived with awaits another session of interrogation. Since your return from Taral-Five, it is Master Drex Atar's will you conduct the interrogation personally." Chaskar almost rolled his eyes at whatever idea was next on his tongue. "He seems to think you've somehow improved your understanding of the dark side and now possess the cunning and cruelty required of you to extract the secrets of our enemies' annihilation."

She sensed his comments were out of line, even for an Overseer, and decided to follow through with it. If Khana was going to play the part well, she couldn't let herself be pushed around. His loathing of her seemed leashed by reigns she could only guess were directly related to rank. If she were beneath him, he would have no trouble pushing her around; his behavior, however, was distant, schoolyard bullying. She had no choice but to call him out.

"Questioning Master Drex Atar's judgment, Overseer? I believe that's beyond an overseer's minute duties and limited expertise. Or should we ask my Master?" she hissed and watched his nose pinch up in another sneer, skin wrinkling against the jewelry at the bridge. Khana gave a satisfied smile and moved on. "Which particular bit of scum are you referring to? I came with several."

"The Jedi girl," he replied quickly. "I understand she used to be one of us. I will watch your interrogation and report back to Master Drex Atar." He gave a disconcerting smile. "If I am unsatisfied with your progress, he will surely hear of it."

Khana didn't have time to rebut his remark with some cocky line of her own; her thoughts were fixed on his words and repeated over and over again in her mind like a broken holo. Jedi girl, used to be one of us. _Kre'tan?_ she thought. _Or Kira?_ Khana tried to reach out through the Force to see if she could detect either woman's presence on the citadel but the dark side choked her connection, limiting her senses. She followed Chaskar stiffly, mind divided between fear and her tutelage reminding her to calm herself and think clearly. Upon recognizing the conflict within her, doubts about her innocence over her fall to the dark side further clouded her judgment. What had happened to lubricate her change?

But that was a question for another time. Khana aggressively reminded herself to stay focused. Once she considered the situation logically, she understood the captive was not Kre'tan. It was Kira. If it had been Kre'tan, she would have felt her presence regardless; for reasons she had yet to discover, Khana could sense Kre'tan's presence the moment the Twi'lek came planetside, even if Khana had been hundreds of clicks in another direction. At first Khana had understood this connection as a result of their both being Twi'lek and Jedi; then, she realized it went deeper. A Force bond, perhaps, but even without a strong presence of the light side, Khana felt her. No, her memories of the assault on the citadel extended far enough back to realize she had sensed Kre'tan's presence departing.

So Kira had been trapped and tormented all this time—a time she'd yet to determine. Regret reverberated painfully in her chest. Not long before, her eager padawan had freed herself from the Emperor's hold on her… only to be brought back to the source of her torment and captured. It was too much to bear. And it was all her fault. She should have left Kira further behind than the ship; she should have left her on Tython, where it was safe.

Another phrase of Chaskar's made its way into her consciousness. _Another session of interrogation, seems to think you've improved, are now capable of extracting_—that could only mean one thing: Kira had resisted! Resisted Khana's torments or someone else's, she didn't know, but her padawan had resisted! Khana stifled a smile and followed Chaskar around another corner.

Her joy was snuffed out at the sight of Kira strapped vertically into the interrogation table. She was pale and gaunt and dark circles were deep under her weary eyes. She wore the rags of her old robes. Khana clenched her jaw, fighting back the anger and guilt surging through her. Kira steadily lifted her blue eyes to meet Khana's own purple-gray hues and a spark of determination faintly lit the former padawan's gaze.

"I know you're still in there," Kira began and Khana could sense more of her fighting spirit rising to the surface. It occurred to her that the broken, weary Kira she had seen at first was merely an illusion; she had repressed herself, conserved her energy and her strength. "You're not one of them," Kira continued. "If I beat him, you can, too."

Chaskar rolled his eyes as he leaned against the frame of the table she was strapped into. "Not this again," he mumbled.

Khana felt a stab of rage that was almost immediately replaced with a flood of sympathy. How many times had Kira called out to her and begged her to hear her voice, to return to the light? How many times had she been left disappointed, watching the woman she'd learned from and followed loyally spiral down the dark path Kira had struggled so hard to escape? How many nights, Khana wondered, had Kira sat in a dank cell and toiled over a new plan to save her fallen master?

_Don't worry, Kira,_ Khana thought. _I'm not one of them anymore. I _will_ save you._

"Let's begin," Chaskar said as the Knight made it to the console, and, for a moment, his voice was devoid of the usual snugness. It lasted only the two words, because as soon as he started speaking again, the snide and condescending tone returned. "It's a simple device, though no doubt you remember how to even power it on, given your past failures."

"Overseer," Khana growled. "You're wasting precious time with your insolence."

"Then a brief overview for the expert," he replied complacently. "Three inducement settings, each inflicting greater pain on the subject. Tormentor monitors the subject's vital signs, stopping just short of delivering lethal damage." He smiled to himself and his next statement seemed more for his own amusement than for her benefit. "Still quite agonizing, however."

"Khana, I know you can hear me," Kira began again, stretching as close as she could to her former master in spite of the binds that held her down. When Khana made brief eye contact, Kira managed a smile. "You can beat him. You're strong! You're stronger than this. The Emperor has no power over you."

It took all of Khana's strength to break eye contact and return to working the machine. In her peripherals, she saw Kira's face momentarily fall, but it hardened with determination quickly after.

"Proceed with the lowest inducement setting," Chaskar continued. "Get your _subject_"—spoken with pure repugnance—"focused."

Khana fiddled at the machinery, fighting the anger welling up inside of her. She shut her eyes tight, trying to center herself and quell her emotions; when she opened her eyes again, a solution came to her.

"The tormentor isn't functioning, Overseer," Khana said, stepping away from the console; she didn't have to fake the disgust in her voice. "There appears to be a problem with the controls."

"Blasted technicians," Chaskar cursed, shifting blame almost robotically. "Step side," he barked even as he shoved his way between her and the console. "I'll have a look."

He knelt down to peer at the wiring beneath the panel and Khana wasted no time. She lifted her leg and her boot connected with the back of his head, smashing his face hard against the metal console. A loud thunk was heard as his skull cracked against it and then he slumped to the floor.

"You killed him," Kira said; it was almost a question but her words were too mingled with surprise.

"He'll live," she replied. The disappointment in her own voice shocked her. Khana met Kira's hopeful gaze as the Knight stepped over the body to undo the binds on her former padawan.

"It's about time," Kira exclaimed, realizing her friend was back to normal—for the most part. The panic she'd been suppressing started to show. "Get me out of this thing."

Even as the bonds dissipated, she stumbled out of their hold in a rush to be free and hugged herself protectively. Khana stepped closer to her, frowning with worry.

"I'm so sorry," she hissed. "Kira, I'm so sorry. Are you all right? Have you been badly injured?"

"I'll be all right," Kira said quickly. "I'd be better if we weren't in the middle of Sith central."

"No one knows I'm back to normal," Khana told her, "but I can't fool them forever. We have to leave now. Where are the others?"

"There are no others," she replied. "Doc and Rusk managed to escape with Zhan and Kre'tan by stealing an Imperial shuttle. Tee-seven was deactivated once they found they couldn't extract his information; I think they thought you could do it once they had you under complete control."

"Where is he being held?"

"With the ship?" she guessed and shrugged. "There were no droids where I was kept."

Khana nodded and glanced around the room; finding the cuffs used to transport Kira, she snatched them up and held them out.

"I hate to do this to you, Kira, but if we're going to get through here and convince everyone I'm still—"

"Say no more," she interrupted. "I understand. Just put them on me—fast."

Khana snapped the bindings in place but didn't lock them. Silent communication in a single glance briefed them both on their escape plan; after working together so long, the two women understood each other with a scary degree of accuracy.

The two women walked one behind the other through the corridors and Kira's head hung low. Only one Imperial guard stopped to question the prisoner transportation. Khana explained the tormentor problem and that she was on her way to employ less conventional tactics for interrogation, things she had learned on Taval V. The guard seemed satisfied and no one questioned her again.

The path back to the hangar easily came back to her as memories from the assault on the citadel rushed to the surface of her mind. It took all of her willpower to walk the rest of the way once she knew where she was going. She wanted to be as far away from that place as she could—far from the anger and far from the shame. She wanted the peace and quiet of her ship and deep space to meditate, to understand what had happened and why. If it was as simple as the Emperor dominating her mind, would she feel this level of hatred and guilt?

To distract herself from her personal torment, she thought on positive things. Kira was relatively healthy and uncorrupted. T7 wasn't scrap. Doc and Rusk had escaped the punishment. Zhan and Kre'tan were probably deep in Republic space, married and happy. She hoped. She could take comfort in that hope.

Khana stopped walking the moment she cleared the guards and started down the hallway to the hangar holding her ship. She reached back to knock off Kira's binds and the two women began sprinting, Kira only a step behind her. And as her ship came into view, so did a red-skinned Sith. He stood tall and dubious, arms folded over his chest, and dressed head-to-toe in black power armor. Beside him, T7-01 wobbled and beeped happily. She noticed corpses in her peripherals but was too charged up to acknowledge them.

Khana glared angrily at the Sith, refusing to let anything come between their escape.

"Get away from my ship!" she growled on approach, ripping her lightsabers from their hilts. "We're leaving!"

She ignited both blades and flinched back as two crimson beams shot up before her. She could feel the heat from her weapons on her face and knew her surprise was lit by a red glow. They were her lightsabers. They were hers! She had crafted them herself. She recognized their shape as well as the feel of them in her hands. _They've been tampered with_, but even as she thought it, she knew it was untrue. She had changed them herself. There was no other truth, and, in that moment, she understood just how far she had fallen.

...

The memory burned fresh in Khana's mind as she sat in her room on the edge of her bed and clawed at the pommel end of her lightsaber, fingers slipping over the metal surface. It was an unnecessary, panic-induced, aggressive assault on her weapon, thoughts too muddled and mind far from centered to go about her task the right way.

She didn't care. She desperately wanted to dig those red crystals out of her sabers. She would worry about replacing them later. The shock of seeing them had tipped her over the edge. Her spiral into darkness had gone so far, she had realized, and Khana could barely trust herself until she had purged all of the evidence of the descent for a clean shot at recovery.

The buzzing energy rattled through her limbs and caused them to tremble. It was pouring out of her now—the overwhelming emotion. She had contained it far too long and now was unable to hold it in any longer.

Lord Scourge's words shot through her mind.

...

"If I wished to fight, I would not have freed your droid," the Sith told her, avoiding—for the moment—mentioning the red sabers and her reaction to them. "Or killed these guards."

Khana took a quick look around the hangar, examining the bodies more closely. T7 beeped and booped, explaining that the Sith was telling the truth.

"More guards will come," the Sith continued, entirely calm. "Shall we go before they arrive?"

"We?" she snapped.

"Do you think I freed you so that I could watch you fly away? Perhaps wave to you before I told the Emperor of your easy escape?" His words were spoken so quietly, so steadily, Khana had trouble maintaining focus with unfamiliar emotions sizzling in her chest. "I could have killed you on Quesh, had I wanted. Did you never wonder why I hesitated?"

Khana swallowed the hard lump in her throat and found the courage to disengage her sabers; she shifted out of the battle stance as she lowered her arms to her sides, eyes never leaving the Sith's red gaze. Those eyes. She knew she'd seen those eyes before. Memories or visions, she wasn't sure which, flashed in her mind and always present were those red eyes, watching her.

"Tell me," Khana said curtly.

"I have waited over three-hundred years to see the face that came to me in a vision." He paused only a moment but the intensity in his countenance bore down on her with the weight of the silence in a lifetime. "Your face."

Khana tipped her head up by her chin, inhaling a deep breath through her nostrils. How could that be true? To her knowledge, Sith did not live for hundreds of years. Yet he stood before her with such a claim, spoken with sincerity and conviction.

"I am much older than you think," he answered her unspoken question. "Only a few beings have ever broken the Emperor's domination. You and that girl are _special_." The word was suddenly whispered, hushed like a secret too precious and too wonderful to reveal or contain.

She knew why.

"We have the power to destroy your master," Khana said.

He almost smiled. "Not yet," he replied. "Not without my help. Though the Emperor seeks to conceal his true plans, I have seen them. That vision has driven me to this." The Sith stepped closer to her, his broad shoulders and black garb filling her sightline, enveloping her. His tone dropped an octave, gaze still holding hers with a fierce concentration. "I pledge my loyalty to you. Take me to your Jedi Council on Tython, and I'll reveal why."

"This is a trap," Kira interjected, stepping into their closeness to form a triangle.

The Sith did not acknowledge her with his eyes but countered the statement, irritation growling in his tone. "I seek to save this galaxy from annihilation. Without my help, your ship will never escape. I can guide you to freedom."

Khana felt trapped and curious at the same time. Ignoring all else, her Master's words kept coming back to her—over and over again. _Your dark ally will help._ She frowned at him and discovered she was slowly nodding.

"He meant… you…" she said quietly. "Who are you?"

"You may call me Lord Scourge. I will always be Sith," he reminded her quietly, "but that does not mean we cannot work together." He took a step toward her and his voice grew louder. "Time is a luxury we no longer possess. We must go _now_. I will navigate us through the defense grid."

Khana nodded acceptingly and turned swiftly, leading the group up to the boarding ramp of her ship and into the heart of the Corellian Defender-Class. Without any true trust, she had agreed to let him on her ship—mainly with the promise that he would guide them away from this place. She could attempt to flee herself and get shot down, stay and be captured, or allow him to guide her to safety or into a trap. At least there was a chance she could get Kira and T7 away. Besides, if Khana could not trust herself anymore, she could at least believe in her late Master's words.

"The cockpit is up through there," she said, pointing to the opposite side of the ship. "Tee-seven, get Ci-Two activated then unlock the galaxy map. We'll need to get ourselves out of lock-down while Scourge sets our course. I'll be up in a minute. I'm going to get Kira into the med bay."

"I'll be fine," her old padawan tried to protest, but Khana guided her by the shoulders to the steps down into the lower level.

"You need medical attention, Kira. Besides, this could be a bumpy ride… I don't want you taking anymore knocks before we get a chance to get you examined."

Khana helped Kira onto the bed, sifted through Doc's medical equipment that looked as though they hadn't been touched in years, selected a kolto shot, and injected it into Kira's arm. Then, she strapped the young woman onto the bed and promised C2-N2 would be down as soon as he was active.

Back up top, Khana hopped into the co-pilot's chair as the ship began warming to life.

"How's that lockdown coming?" Khana asked her droid friend. He beeped and whirred, security spike locked into an access port near the starboard monitor station. She checked the readout on the display but the warning letters and red x-lock were still splayed. "Keep up the good work."

There was a spark and series of snaps when the outlet surged. T7 whooped excitedly as he shot across the room and hit the port side with a great smack. He crackled momentarily with the electric current riding out of his little, metal body, and then the red sign turned to green.

"Great work, Tee-seven!" Khana exclaimed as the ship began to lift-off. She buckled herself in and ran her fingers across the console in front of her, activating manual steering. Scourge was already guiding the ship out of the hangar from the seat opposite hers. "You know what you're doing?"

Scourge snorted impatiently, eyes focused on the black and starry expanse before him.

They idled out of the rayshield, passed the vacuum barrier, and then blazed away from the citadel. Khana readied the turrets but luckily there was no need. The light corvette cut past the defense grid with ease and she realized Scourge must have used some sort of temporary friendly signature. By the time she saw the alarms light up on the console to warn her that the citadel had them locked on, Scourge was already crossing the defense grid and calculating the jump to lightspeed.

As soon as they hit the warp, Khana got out of her chair and made her way back downstairs to where C2 was tending to Kira's wounds.

"Welcome home, Master—" he began but she held up her hand to silence him.

"Later. How's our patient?"

"She suffered many injuries over a prolonged period of time. I'm afraid there was internal damage, though nothing beyond repair. I'm in the process of stabilizing her condition, but for a full recovery, a kolto tank would be ideal," the droid told her.

She nodded and took a seat next to Kira. She grasped the woman's hand.

"How do you feel?"

"Not a damn thing," she replied weakly and managed a brief grin. Khana almost smiled back, but couldn't. "We make it?"

"In hyperspace as we speak."

"Good." She rolled her head lazily and blinked like each time she might not open her lids again. "I'm glad you're back."

"What happened?" Khana asked, determined to know the truth.

"Zhan came bolting back with Kre'tan. She was in bad shape—like her mind was being dominated but… sick. Rusk and I went out to cover them and Zhan tried to power up the ship but we got hit with lockdown. He and Rusk managed to high-jack an Imperial shuttle then he and Doc loaded Kre'tan onto it. I was worried Zhan was going to leave you behind so I said I was going back for you. I guess he didn't care… he took off with everyone still on-board.

"When the Imperials came," she shrugged, "I was overwhelmed. They took me into custody. Told me you'd been defeated. Too bright…" She mumbled lazily. Kira shook her head, no longer bothering to open her eyes again. "Seems like so long ago…"

"And… what did… what happened to me?" Khana asked hesitantly.

Kira frowned but refused to open her eyes, refused to answer.

"You're back now," Kira said at length. "You beat him. He can't win now. That's what matters."

"Kira—"

"You beat him," she insisted.

C2 approached the table again. "I'm sorry, Master, but I need to administer the sedative now."

Khana nodded and got up, giving Kira's hand one last squeeze. She made her way out of the medbay and back up to the cockpit. Scourge stood idly by with his arms over his chest, watching silently and intently. She ignored him, moving straight to the galaxy map. It took only a few seconds to plot a course for Tython, noticing that as she worked, Scourge departed.

When she turned to leave herself, she knelt next to T7. "Keep an eye on things up here, will you?" she asked. "And lock him out of the mainframe. I don't want him talking to anyone, accessing anything, or steering us anywhere unless I approve."

T7 beeped out that he understood. After a moment, Khana lowered her head.

"Do you… know what happened that day?" she asked quietly.

"Whooo…" he replied, a low-pitched droning sound. She nodded and patted his head as she stood up.

"That's all right," she replied quietly. "I'm sure I'll remember…"

Filled to the brim with all of the emotions of the past hour, Khana headed toward the back room. At the holoterminal, she attempted to dial the Council, but it only rang into empty space. She guessed it was hyperspace interference and planned to try again the moment they dropped out.

When she turned around, she found herself face-to-face with Lord Scourge. She had to clench her hands into fists to keep them from shaking and take a deep breath to steady herself as much as possible. She didn't know how much longer she could restrain herself.

"I thank you for your trust, Jedi. I might not have given mine so freely were our positions reversed."

"I didn't think Sith knew how to trust," she remarked as casually as possible. He almost smirked.

"We'll work well together. In time, you will believe me."

"Why are you here?"

"I will speak of my vision in detail to your Council. Suffice it to say, I have long-opposed my lord Emperor," he told her, and she could tell she would get no more from him.

With a nod, Khana slipped around him and made for the exit. "You are welcome to a room. Stay away from Kira." They were simple rules and spoken curtly. She found herself devoid of the patience and understanding she once possessed. It unnerved her.

_He is not lying,_ a voice said to her. She paused mid-step. It was his voice—the voice of her former master. _Look inside yourself, Khana… You will know the truth for yourself._

She glanced back at the Sith only to find him watching her keenly. She turned and, with quiet strides, she headed for her room.


	2. The Emperor's Designs

Khana's fingers fumbled with the lightsaber pommel until her nails scratched off the surface and nearly broke. That's when something inside of her released and a torrent of emotion flooded out of her before she even realized it was there to begin with. Tears broke free in loud, heaving sobs. She hugged the saber hilt to her chest and numbly clutched it, hiccupping as more and more pressure forced itself up through her throat.

Her chest felt squeezed so tight that she thought she couldn't breathe. Dropping the hilt to the ground, she clawed at her own breast, desperate for air. But she could only cry. Long wailing whines started in the back of her throat as she occasionally felt what little oxygen she could gasp was knocked out of her. Her body trembled, hands shaking on her knees as they bobbed up and down uncontrollably with chaotic energy.

Desperate for some control, she ran her hands back over her head and down her lekku, feeling the perspiration gather on her palms and between her fingers. She pressed the back of her hand to her mouth and felt the wet squish of spittle, prompting more tears at her sorry state. She grasped her pants-legs until her rutian knuckles nearly turned sky-blue.

When her eyes were raw and face flushed, she jerked at the black robes still covering her. In a desperate fit to rid herself of the evidence, she ripped the boots, bracers, and belts off, tossing them across the room, and then yanked the layers away from her until all of her frustrated vigor leveled out and she sat inhaling and exhaling deeply, shoulders slumped.

Suddenly her door was open and a presence flooded the entire room. She knew Lord Scourge stood there; his black and red body filled the entire frame. She didn't move or flinch, waiting for him to say whatever it was he had to say so that he would leave. He stepped inside and the door closed behind him. Narrowing her gaze on the rug in front of her bed, she wondered what was in his head. There was no patience in her for games and the longer she waited, the angrier she became. Finally, her head snapped up to face him. That's when he spoke.

"I have seen this face on slaves and dying men… What business do you have wearing it?" he asked calmly.

"What do you think of your champion now?" she retorted bitterly. "Any regrets?"

"If you say that because you believe I find your emotions a weakness, you're wrong. This feeling gives you strength. Anger and confusion motivate your tears. If you were to focus on that anger and let it drive you, you would be unstoppable." He tilted his head up at the chin. "This is a strength."

"I am a Jedi," she insisted, wiping her face on her sleeve. "I have been in the Order my whole life. I lived and fought by the Code. I have served the Republic and the light with every ounce of my being. There is no emotion, there is peace!" She yelled and then swallowed the lump in her throat. "I followed the Code."

"Always?" he asked. "You always followed the Code?"

"Yes," she replied, but her tone pitched, hinting at another possibility. "Of course…"

"You are either lying or unsure," Scourge said curtly. "Which is it?"

Khana sighed, finding the tears had ceased and she was breathing easier now that she had been pulled into conversation. Thankfully, the energy had left and she sat limply in front of him; it was the closest to calm she had felt since she'd come out of her dark trance.

"It doesn't matter," she told him. "I walked dangerously alongside the gray area, I know. Allowing myself to care too much, to be involved deeper than I should've—I exposed myself to what I had not yet learned to temper."

"With your companions, I recall," he muttered like he already knew the secrets that he pried for. "And was that all? I recall several incidents the Emperor glimpsed in your mind."

A flare of anger rose so quickly through her that she did not have time to catch herself before her eyes flashed at him. His eyes locked with hers and she nearly flinched at the smoldering gaze.

"Tell me how long before the Emperor's taint leaves me," she hissed.

"If you answer my question, I shall tell you. How did you break the Emperor's domination?"

"My Master came to me and spoke to me through the Force. He told me of what had happened and helped me break the trance." She nodded at him. "You're turn."

"There is no taint," Scourge told her. "The anger is your own." He kept going even as Khana began shaking her head defiantly. "He did little to break you. You were nearly ready to receive the dark tutelage offered you."

"No—"

"Your anger makes you strong. You did incredible things in the Emperor's service. You were stronger than you ever were."

"No, I am a Jedi."

"A Jedi who questioned her cause."

"I never questioned my mission—"

"Rather the people you were fighting for."

"I was a good Jedi!" she exclaimed, jumping to her feet.

"But you were a greater Sith," Scourge declared confidently.

Khana felt the hate burning inside of her and wanted to deny it—knew she should. But she couldn't. She only wanted to silence him. To deny all of his implications, his accusations—his truths. So focused was she on the conflict between giving into her rage and fighting it, she didn't even notice her clenched fists trembling.

"Remarkable," Scourge began as he stepped closer to her. "Your people are nothing but slaves to us." He reached out to stroke her lekku—an utterly light and swift caress—before dropping his hands back to his sides. "But the Emperor does not know social dictums or cultural edifications, only power. So a slave became Sith."

"Scourge," she warned, and the anger in her voice was unmistakable. He relented only until he'd paced away from her.

"Perhaps this is a conversation for another time," he said quietly, glancing back at her once.

"I need to know."

"Another time," he insisted, and left.

As Scourge disappeared around the corner, she crossed to her door and locked it. It hissed as it sealed across the threshold. She rolled to her right, putting her back to the door, and frowned as she recapped the conversation. As she reran every detail over in her mind, she recalled a moment on the citadel when she came into one of her memories. She recalled it again, stronger. Scourge's eyes had watched her, followed her—across rooms and hallways. He had shadowed her with an unnatural interest.

Khana tossed herself onto her bed, internal turmoil churning beneath the mystery of Scourge's unwavering and never-leaving gaze. He had haunted her during her service to the Emperor. He had followed her from the citadel in order to thwart his master's plans and end his life. Even on Quesh—during their first meeting—he had seen something in her that turned him away from confrontation.

She closed her eyes and thought back to that day, hoping to glean some understanding behind his motivations. Her desperation for peace, however, crowded her thoughts, and all she could recall was a day when she served the Republic and was not burdened by darkness. Instead, she did as her master had told her to do: she looked inside herself. There was so much darkness and it nearly scared her out of herself. She persisted, even for a moment, and reached out through the Force. Somehow—inexplicably—she found no lies in Lord Scourge.

...

Sajar's words reverberated in Khana's mind. _An Imperial officer recognized me… said "the Emperor's Wrath is coming."_ When asked who the Emperor's Wrath was, he had replied, _a ghost. Even the Dark Council fears him._ And so now she waited patiently for this ghost to appear, eyes focused beyond the rayshield.

"Hang on," the lieutenant near her said. "We've got movement outside the rayshield." He readied his weapon. "Who is that?"

From the other side of the green energy field, a Sith with blood red skin stalked like a fierce beast toward them. His shoulders and chest were broad, every inch of him muscle and power beneath the black armor suit he wore. A long cape glided over the ground behind him. He was tall—so tall Khana stood only to his chest. His eyes were bright red and his expression was calm. Silver cylinders cuffed his cheek tendrils and two rings pierced his brow.

She crossed her arms across her chest expectantly as he came to stop before the rayshield. He took a wide-legged stance with his arms casually folded behind his back.

"What a mystery the Force can be," he began quietly. His voice was a purr of the accent native to the Sith. "I came seeking a traitor, but found you instead. The time draws near."

"You're too late," Khana told him. "You won't be killing anyone for the Emperor today."

"A minor disappointment," he replied, "eclipsed by this… curious discovery." His eyes bore into hers. "You're strong and touched by darkness. That is _unexpected_." The word was a whisper on a smile, as though the discovery had greatly pleased him. "An advantage?" He seemed to consider it. "Possibly." He tilted his head up at the chin. "You may keep the Dark Council traitor. I smell his weakness. He'll die by his own hand given the chance."

"Sajar _will_ receive the help he needs."

"A waste of your time and talents," the Sith insisted. "He isn't worthy. The Emperor must hear of our meeting." He relaxed out of his pose. He spoke as he stepped backward, staring at her as if soaking in every detail. "I won't disappoint him with delays." He turned. "Farewell for now."

And the Emperor's Wrath was gone.

...

The memory of her meeting with Lord Scourge on Quesh was fresh in Khana's mind as she and her small entourage swiftly stalked down the loading ramp off the shuttle to Tython's orbital station. Across the room, she noticed a young padawan blanch in surprise and then sprint from the room, no doubt to collect the Council. Everyone else just gaped and stepped aside.

Khana's entourage was no doubt intimidating. Kira, still looking grim but walking proudly, followed closely behind on her right. Scourge—the menacing Sith—followed on her left. T7 headed up the rear, beeping happily that they were back.

Their boots treaded quietly on the marble flooring as they turned corners twice and entered the main hall of the temple. Clusters of people began to form, trying their hardest not to seem conspicuous. A tiny ball of agitation rolled around in Khana's gut, heating her internally until it was hard to breathe; they had things to be doing—useful things aside from gawking! She ignored them, briefly closing her eyes in shame. When could she get rid of this anger? If Scourge had been telling the truth and it was her own, why could she simply not vent it and be done?

When she opened her eyes again, the council chambers were opening for her. She nodded gratefully to the attendants who had taken the initiative. She stopped before entering and looked at Kira.

"You should get into a kolto bath right away," Khana told her former padawan. "We won't be long. I'll come and see you as soon as possible."

"Sure you can take the heat?" Kira asked with a weak smile.

"We escaped the Emperor's citadel… what's a Jedi Temple?" she joked. "Tee-seven, think you could keep Kira company?"

The little droid beeped in response and the two headed off in another direction. Khana and Scourge then swept inside the large double doors and they closed heavily behind them. As she made her way down the small hallway, Satele Shan, Kiwiks, and Kaedan came together before the table to greet her; their faces were twisted in a mixture of relief, joy, and pain.

"It's been so long," Satele began on a shaky note, opening her arms to welcome Khana home. "We thought you were lost forever."

The Grand Master reached out to take her shoulders and touch their foreheads together. The others merely grasped a shoulder comfortingly. After a moment of silence, they stepped back and withdrew their hands to their sides.

"What happened up there? You've been gone nearly three years," Kiwiks said.

Khana momentarily went rigid, feeling her skin turn to stone. So it had been that long. She had been afraid to ask, afraid to know. And there it was, the truth: three years of her life had served the Emperor's dark designs and she could remember nothing but small flashes. Swallowing the lump, she did her best to roll over the shock and hoped no one noticed the pause.

"Our mission to seize the Emperor has failed," Khana said bluntly. "Master Braga, Leeha Narez, and Waren Sedoru are still missing…" She looked regretfully from one gaze to the next, finally settling on Satele's. The next part would be the hardest to explain. "If they survived, however, they have probably suffered the same fate that I did. That is… Jomar's vision was true."

A small gasp escaped Kiwiks and Kaedan shuffled uncomfortably. Satele's expression did not waver.

"We heard… rumors," she said quietly. "But how? I know you, Khana. I know you would never willingly turn to the dark side."

"The Emperor dominated their minds," Scourge offered, "just as he did to Revan and Malak long ago that set them on the Republic." He tilted his head to look directly at Khana as he spoke. "She was quickly becoming one of his most prized servants… until she broke free of his domination."

"This is Lord Scourge," Khana introduced him, "the Emperor's Wrath. He helped us escape." She glanced up at him as he had with her. "He betrayed his Emperor to help us defeat him."

"Sith serve no one but themselves," Kaedan observed.

"I altered my loyalties to avert a threat to myself and you," Scourge corrected him. "Jedi are not alone in seeing the future. Centuries ago, I came to understand the Emperor's true desires: to destroy the galaxy, not to rule it. Republic, Empire, everything—gone. This Jedi," he focused on Khana, "has the power to stop him."

They stared at one another in fierce determination, a silent push-and-pull of understanding, trust, fear, and anger playing back and forth.

"I don't know if I do or not," she finally said, "but I believe he's telling the truth."

"The renewed war is merely a diversion to conceal the Emperor's designs," Scourge continued. "His true plans are already in motion across the galaxy. One by one, every star system will simply die. Trillions will perish."

"How does that benefit the Emperor?" Satele wanted to know.

"He'll feed on those deaths to become more powerful than all the Jedi and Sith combined. An immortal being of unlimited power."

"The Emperor defeated my strike team without a fight," Khana confirmed. "He's far stronger than we realized."

"A thousand years ago," Scourge explained specifically to Khana, as though she were the only one in the room, "the Emperor tricked an entire Sith world into aiding a dark ritual. He promised great power… only for himself, of course. The ritual consumed every living thing on the planet. He absorbed those life essences through the Force."

Khana internally shrank back, disturbed by the very idea. "That explains how he's lived so long… and where all this power comes from."

"That was merely one world," Scourge reminded them. "Imagine what he'll become after consuming millions. The Emperor has manipulated events for centuries towards one goal: performing an even greater ritual that will destroy this galaxy." He finally turned to address the others. "But the ritual requires a great sacrifice to begin: billions of simultaneous deaths. He seeks to commit genocide on Belsavis."

"That prison world holds the worst filth captured by the Republic. Mass murderers, tyrants, even captured Sith Lords," Kaedan said grimly as Master Kiwiks paced away from the group.

"We've kept the planet's location secret for decades," the Togrunta interjected, turning back to them. "If the Emperor has found it…"

"Once the sacrifice occurs," Scourge went on, "the Emperor's ritual cannot be stopped. We must save Belsavis."

The hiss of a lightsaber being drawn surprised all but the wielder. Master Kaedan held the blue beam at Scourge's throat and the two squared off defiantly.

"We?" the Jedi repeated. "Your role in this is over, Sith."

Khana felt a surge of anger in her heart. Another moment from her past leapt into the front of her thoughts: a cold and bleak day on Hoth when the Republic and Empire had momentarily joined forces to stop a greater threat. When that threat had passed, Zhan had given the order to the eager soldiers to turn on their Imperial allies. The betrayal had depressed and infuriated her. The Imperial commander's hissed words had stabbed her with deadly accuracy. _You are no better than the Empire._

Here, again, she felt that truth hit home. Scourge had taken a great risk betraying the Emperor and had given them valuable information regarding his former lord's plans without asking for a single thing in return but that they do something about it. Kaedan was showing him all the kindness of Zhan and those Republic troops on Hoth.

Khana stepped between them, and would later wonder if the fury showed on her face. Right then, all she could think about was stopping this affront to justice—to stop it like she failed to do on Hoth.

"Lower your weapon, Master Kaedan," she demanded. "Scourge is cooperating. He came here of his own will and he will leave the same way."

"I know the Emperor's ways," the Sith reminded her. "Belsavis is not the only world in danger. We must find the others and I cannot help you from a prison cell." He dipped his head to quietly mutter in her ear. "Like it or not… we need each other."

"He's right," Satele said calmly. "I can feel the truth. Without his help, we're all dead."

Khana felt a spring of hope at the Grand Master's disarming words. The fairness cut through her anger like a cooling rush, abating the heat.

"The Council will concentrate on finding other worlds at risk," she continued as Kaedan withdrew his saber, "and finding our missing friends. Khana, I'm counting on you to stop the Emperor's plans."

"On me?" Khana asked, surprised.

"Yes. You were hoping for reassignment?"

"No, Master, I just… wasn't sure the Council would still trust me after what happened." She bowed her head shamefully.

"What you did was done under the Emperor's domination. We underestimated our enemy—all of us—and sent you to what we believed would be, at worse, your death. We were wrong; we sent you to something much worse. But you were able to fight him even under his control. That shows true strength and determination toward the light. While I believe you should take some time here to recover from any lingering symptoms or doubts, I do not hold you accountable to the actions of a Sith." Satele slightly turned her head back toward the others.

"Neither do I," Kiwiks said. "As as I said before you left those many years ago, I've known you since you were Master Orgus's padawan. You have saved lives across the galaxy. Now, you have beaten the Emperor's domination. I see no greater sign that you are loyal to the Jedi and to the Republic."

"I agree with Master Kiwiks," Kaedan said at length.

"Then it's settled," Satele declared. "I'm sure you have many things to attend to before you depart. Contact me when you reach Belsavis." She glanced at Scourge. "And don't rely too closely on your 'ally'."

The Sith smirked. "I'm disrupting the fabled Jedi calm. I suggest we depart."

Khana nodded. "May the Force be with us," she told the masters, and then led Scourge out of the council chambers.


	3. Tython

After the meeting with the Council, Khana and Scourge had been escorted to guest rooms where they were given fresh clothes to change into. Scourge, of course, refused to don the garb of the Jedi. Khana's first task was to find out how Kira was doing and to see if she could visit her; she was told Kira was already in a kolto tank and would be for a few days, but someone would alert her the moment her old padawan woke up.

Next, Khana asked after Doc and Rusk, only to find out they'd hopped transports to Taris and were currently aiding the Republic there. One of the attendants offered to try to reach them, but she refused, saying she would surprise them later. The truth was she had no idea how to face them and would need more time to prepare. If she was to be rejected, she would rather it be done face to face.

So her task became to reconnect with herself and discover her source of anger, concentrate it, trap it, and cast it out of her. She stole away to the meditation gardens outside of the temple and the rest of the day trying to fade into the Force.

But images of Hoth and of Kaedan's lightsaber at Scourge's throat kept flashing in her mind. Her anger flared continuously, conjuring images of the three years she'd spent under the Emperor's domination. Her chest tightened and heaved, muscles tensed, and brain fogged. After so long of trying to concentrate, all Khana found she could obtain was more rage.

So she retired for the night, skipping dinner, and start fresh again in the morning. This time, she chose a meditation chamber and locked herself inside; she had made the decision to fast through meals until she could find peace again. But Khana left the chamber mid-afternoon hungry and more frustrated than before.

Taking a break, Khana stole up to her ship. Even though C2 was bustling about his typical duties, the whole place still felt deserted. Up at the holoterminal, she quickly dialed into Zhan's ship then paused, fingers hovering over the call button. All it would take was a simple tap to know how they were, to tell them she was alive, to ask what had happened in all this time, to find out where they could meet up.

But how could she even begin to assume that anything would be the same. She had been gone three years. She had been serving the dark side for three very long and very bleak years. Perhaps she had already crossed their path and didn't recognize them. Had she hurt them? Or merely left them dumbfounded and disappointed?

Worst-case scenarios plagued her mind until she curled her fingers into her palms and stepped away from the holoterminal. She couldn't bring herself to call them. Not after what she'd done. She had preached temperance, peace, selflessness, and justice. Just because the Jedi Council had pardoned her did not mean that Khana could pardon herself.

Khana could think of no bigger betrayal to Kre'tan than how she had turned to the dark side.

She went to her room and opened up the secret compartment behind one of the statues and dug out the decorated datapad the other Twi'lek had given to her. Without turning it on, she held it tightly in her hands and recalled all of the information that had been stored on there. The shielding ritual the Sage had learned had been inside of her head the whole time she was under the Emperor's service. Had he seen it? Had he cultivated it for his own use? She prowled her memory banks for some clue but could find none.

Perhaps Scourge could give her the answers she needed. That night, she would try again to talk to him. But right then, she knew she had to return to her meditations. Hiding the datapad away once more, she exited her ship and caught the next shuttle back down to Tython's surface. Once again locked in the meditation chamber, she focused inward and searched for peace she could not find amid the angry storm inside.

/

Khana did not have to go looking for Scourge. That night, he came seeking her. She lounged against the railing of one of the many temple balconies, enjoying the quiet and admiring the stars, the sound of crickets and of wind rustling through trees, and the peace that flowed endlessly across the grounds. He approached quietly but she felt him coming through the Force long before he stepped into the fresh, night air.

"Your people speaking of the Empire sound like a distorted echo," he began as he came to stand next to her. "When I was born, we thought the rest of the galaxy to be mystery and legend. We had been alone for a thousand years."

"I can't even imagine," she whispered, tilting her head up to take in all the stars. Thousands—hundreds of thousands sprinkled the black sky. "What was it like?"

"We were what you made us," he replied somberly. "In my youth, Jedi were how you threatened errant children. "Obey your masters or the Jedi will obliterate you!" For thousands of years, we had total control of a hundred star systems. Then the Jedi drove us to the farthest fringe of the galaxy."

"That was generations ago," Khana began, surprised. "Do people really still feel that way?"

He frowned at her. "Did your people really still fear us when we reemerged?"

"Point taken."

"This is hardly worth debating. I gain nothing from understanding how your Republic's fools view the galaxy."

Khana slowly turned to face him and waited until he had given her his full attention before proceeding.

"I need to gain an understanding from _you_," she said quietly. "I would like to finish our discussion from the other night. I need to know what happened to me." She cleared her throat. "And… what the Emperor may have learned from me."

Scourge looked back out across the countryside, hands folded behind his back, and waited in quiet before answering. He spoke calmly, softly, as she'd come to expect from him. He was remarkably patient for a Sith; then again, he had waited 300 years for the person who would defeat the Emperor. Still, she had seen none of the usual passions that drove other Sith in him; sometimes, he seemed to exercise more calm and detachment than even a Jedi. That was, to use his word, unexpected. Perhaps one day, it would be intriguing, but right then she only wanted to know what had happened to her.

"As far as I know, he learned nothing from you. He had been patient, waiting for the day when you would tell him yourself, open and freely. Pushing too hard too quickly could break his hold over you. While he sought information, he was far more interested in seeing how powerful a servant you could be."

"I see…" she mumbled, and then she felt him looking at her.

"Is there something you were worried he might've glimpsed? Some Republic plans, a weapon, Jedi secrets?" He must've understood the look in her eyes was a confirmation, because he merely nodded. "If the Emperor did learn something from you, he did not share it with me or his Dark Council."

Khana nodded and shifted her weight from one foot to the next. The thin robes she wore were flexible and allowed a gentle breeze through the layers with ease. It was different than her normal robes—thick, reinforced cloth layered protectively over her form; they still allowed her acrobatic fighting style a full range of movement, but that didn't take away the fact that they could feel stifling.

Like this, she felt almost like a padawan again. Her lightsabers were the heaviest piece on her.

"Are you sure you want to know?" he asked, as if sensing her relaxation.

"Yes," she replied curtly. Truthfully, she didn't want to know, but she knew she had to hear it.

"You underwent standard acolyte training, and you—of course—excelled. As a Jedi Knight, you already had the basic training necessary to become a Sith. And you were powerful, showing great promise," Scourge told her. "Because you were under the Emperor's domination, it did not take long to indoctrinate you. We found you more… willing than the others."

Flashes of those moments slipped in and out of her mind. A cold, steel floor under her knees. The singed circuits of battle droids, the ping of blaster bolts deflected off her saber, and the electrical sparks and molten metal. Sith and humans dressed in variations of black and red leathers and cloth. Her saber slicing a man from shoulder to hip. She shut her eyes tight, appalled by the sudden image. And as he spoke, other memories came to her. A tall, lanky man stepping toward her, placing his hand on her shoulder. The hiss of sabers against sabers, the rush of the Force extending beyond her limbs and slamming into those that fought her. Sand and snow and swamp crushed beneath her boots. A tender throat caught in her grasp, the fingers clawing at the invisible force choking his airway, the tight tension in her fingers as she closed her gloved hand and cut off her target's air supply. The smell of death.

It all hit her in such a debilitating wave, she didn't even notice her chest tightening, squeezing the air from her lungs. She didn't immediately feel the blazing rush of adrenaline through her veins or the searing heat that ignited in her gut.

"You excelled at whatever task you were given. Master Drex Atar—one of the Emperor's finest—took you as his pupil. You accompanied him to many worlds and on many missions. You were brutal. You hungered for the fight. You were always ready to kill."

"It's not true!" she yelled. But the memories kept on coming. Death after death sped through her mind in disjointed memories—horrific killings, unjust murders, all at the extension of her crimson blades. "These memories were planted. They have to be."

"I would not lie to you," he said calmly.

"I would never—_never_ do those things! I am a Jedi!" Khana was panting, nearing panic; she reached out to steady herself with the railing. "I will never be Sith."

"You already are," Scourge said as a matter of fact. "I watched you stand on the red sands of Korriban under the burning sky. Your eyes flashed like fire with power and rage." He stepped to her again. "You tormented your padawan for days."

There was a distant ringing in Khana's ears and the rest of Tython turned to dull silence. Jomar's vision—nearly word for word—became a memory when spoken from Scourge's lips. White light crowded her vision and a numb sensation swept below her neck while a spike of tension speared up through her gut and chest, sundering whatever denial tried so desperately to hold together.

Someone bellowed far away and two red beams were suddenly countered by a third. Red flashed before her eyes and the background shifted to various angles around the balcony. Scourge growled in front of her, sometimes agitated and sometimes pleased, as he dodged this way and that, lifting his saber, turning with it, sweeping the other two crimson beams away from him. The other fighter continued to hack at his sturdy disposition. He beckoned to the fighter. _Give into your feelings…_ It was a voice she heard speak from far away, but his lips moved with the words.

The three lightsabers suddenly became locked together and a strange grip entered her hands and arms. That was when she realized her arms were braced, her hands held the sabers, and she had been the fighter that had attacked the Sith.

Some thread of self-control remained in her subconscious and it sprang to the front of her mind with one unique phrase: passion, yet serenity.

Khana immediately disengaged the blades, letting them drop to the floor, and backed away. Scourge slowly relaxed out of his stance and likewise disengaged. She closed her eyes and focused on her internal struggle, wrestling the emotions back under control.

"I won't…" she muttered. "I won't." She held her hands out in front of her, palms up, like she was afraid of what they held. "This is not my path. I will not give in."

He returned his lightsaber to his belt. "Your feelings are natural," he told her. "You should not fear them."

"Maybe you're right." She opened her eyes. "But I must find the truth for myself."

He bowed his head in acknowledgement and silently excused himself. When she felt his presence had completely gone, Khana dropped to her knees and struggled to catch her breath. Once she had calmed her heart rate, she tucked her legs under her knees and began meditating. She did not stop until the sun rose over the mountain ridges that surrounded the temple.

Once the morning sun completely peaked over the highest mountain crest, Khana opened her eyes. She saw the fruit of her meditation on her own skin—a soft, blue energy rising off of her. It soaked in the orange warmth of the sun, giving the illusion of fire on her flesh.

In that night, she had felt raging anger and hatred and then rediscovered the kernel of control hiding inside of herself. It had taken a while, but she had managed to dig deep enough to scratch at the crusty surface of the prison hiding her old self away. The Force had begun to flow through her—strained and abrasive, but she had felt it nonetheless.

One thought that had been pushed to the back of her mind leapt to the forefront the moment she exited her trance. Passion, yet serenity. She wondered why it had come to her when she had never heard it before. It resembled the line of the Jedi Code: there is no passion, there is serenity. Yet this phrase was different; it carried a different weight.

Khana pushed onto her feet, feeling the stiffness in her legs and arms from a long night on a cold, marble floor. Normally, the Force could refresh and invigorate one's body and she had been no stranger to those practices; now, however, it required all of her concentration and willpower to allow the Force to flow through her once again. Not to manipulate it, but to become part of it, to allow it to work through her.

Heading straight to the library, she claimed a research station in the back, woke up the terminal with a mere touch, and typed in the words: passion, yet serenity. Many datastores of knowledge concerning the Code and other Jedi teachings popped up, but only one interested her. She checked the archive listing, retrieved the holobook from the Stack, and returned to her seat. Activating the controls on the slim, crystalline board, she easily found what she was looking for.

The original mantra that gave birth to the Jedi Code read differently than what she had learned as a young padawan at the temple on Coruscant.

"Emotion, yet peace," she read quietly. "Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death… yet the Force."

After perusing through the information until she was satisfied she had found all she could on the subject, Khana deactivated the holobook and returned it to its Stack. As she went down to her room and prepared herself for departure, Khana mulled over what she had read.

The Jedi Code had once acknowledged all things and had tempered those things with betterment. Odan-Urr's version of the Code—the version she had come to recite on a daily basis—was not far off from expressing the same truth, but his outright denial of emotion, ignorance, passion, chaos, and death in favor of the alternatives a Jedi strove to embrace left a Jedi in the balance between what was right and what was wrong. There was no room to grow unless it was into the Jedi ideals. Though the Jedi practiced forgiveness and redemption, the paths to the dark side had become demonized to a point almost worse than that of the actual dark side.

"Emotion, yet peace," she mumbled as she began her hike up through the mountains. "Passion, yet serenity."

Khana's hike led her deep into the Forge remnants. Once, it had been crawling with flesh raiders and she had been one of the many Jedi who had helped end their assault across Tython. The last time she had seen these ruins, they had been covered in flesh raider corpses. Now, all evidence of that battle was swept away. Birds occasionally chirped and sang from the trees that crowded the decaying walls that surrounded the grounds. Muffled grunts of grazing uxibeast and small cries of overzealous manka cubs carried through the forest and the remnants. A breeze rustled the treetops.

It took an hour to cross the full expanse of the Forge grounds and another hour's walk through the tunnels and grassy slopes to reach the stairs to the Forge itself. Khana stopped to rest before ascending the one hundred steps. Still refusing to eat, she gave in to base survival instincts and guzzled a canister of water, taking in the full majesty of the mountain slopes, isolated and untouched.

Though countless padawans had made the journey to the Forge, this part of them mountain had maintained its natural form, wild and alive. The grass was so green, it barely looked real. Yellow wildflowers grew along the path and sprinkled the green slopes. Trees with ancient, sturdy trunks and dark, verdant leaves stood proudly, clustering near the impassable, bronze cliff-faces that surrounded the sacred area.

A butterfly fluttered near her for just a moment, touching down on a wildflower next to her hand before dancing off again. The simple gesture reminded her of the gravity of life. The Forge, with all of its sacred weight, was not so important or off-limits to a simple, bouncing butterfly. That realization deeply impressed upon her.

Khana screwed the cap back on the canister and, leaving her gear at the bottom of the stairs, climbed the one hundreds steps to the top. She knelt before the altar and meditated, waiting until she had connected with the Force before continuing. This time, it did not take her hours to feel the energy swirl inside of her. Then, standing up, she placed two blue crystals on the artificing table and began the slow and steady work of fashioning lightsaber crystals.

Instead of returning to the temple the moment she came down from the forge, Khana walked a detoured route through the forest surrounding the Jedi complex. As peaceful as Tython was and as refreshing as her walk had been, she still felt heavy and burdened by the taint of the dark side. Her anger churned inside of her, stewing patiently for an opportunity to rise; her meditation had given her enough understanding and clarity to understand that much.

When she reached the gardens in the back, she found a secluded spot and took up the stance and returned to her meditative trance. Her hunger was in full swing now and it took a moment to find her concentration again. She wasn't sure how long she had been there when it happened, but the world eventually washed out into a bleak and distant background. The gardens seemed drained of color.

And across from her, knee to knee, sat Rask Khev Sa, her old master. He wore the dark brown leathers and robes she always remembered him in. His hood was down, revealing the mop of brown hair and kind, green eyes. The blue energy that radiated off of his transparent form reminded her that he was revealing himself to her through the Force and that, as real as he seemed now, he had died those many years ago.

"Khanak'allys," he said with a smile. The use of her Rylothian name did not surprise her. Even though she had long given up her birth name, he had often teased her with it when he jested that she was in trouble.

"Master," she replied, also smiling. "You're looking disheveled as usual. And here I thought returning to the Force would at least fix your hair."

"Apparently it's a one-time thing," he replied with mock regret. "Nothing to be done about that now." He intercepted the tremor of pain that flashed through her face at the thought of his death. "Khana," he began more seriously, "you're so full of doubt. Why?"

"Master," she replied quietly, "you know what I did, what I became. I've thought it through over and over again. Had I just been manipulated as Master Satele and the others believe, I might be able to move forward. But it wasn't just the Emperor…"

"No?"

"It was me," she said as a matter-of-fact. "I made it easy for the Emperor. I had darkness in my heart already. I had anger and fear. I still have it."

"Show me," he said gently. When she hesitated, he gave her another disarming smile. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

Khana relaxed a little and nodded. His casual way of joking had ruffled more than enough feathers at the temples and academies. Jedi were serious business and it was a serious time with all the fighting and military tension. Khana had always found it refreshing and comforting that he could joke in that way. His sense of humor had deepened their bond because she, of course, had adopted his ways. Until he died. Then she stopped finding things so amusing.

He was the best Jedi she had ever known and everything she aspired to be. To show him how far she had fallen was something she did not want to do. But his gentle prodding and kind smile reminded her how completely she trusted him.

So Khana bowed her head and allowed the Force to fill her and for her to be seen through it. Her already blue body began to glow with a different blue until every piece of her had become an ethereal extension. At her core, however, a red fire burned around a spotty, black core. It filled her from stomach to throat, undulating from side to side in a slow and patient motion.

When she lifted her head, she saw her master had also revealed himself through the Force. At his center between his ribcage, a small, red sphere swelled and swayed. Hers was chaotic, unchecked, and wild; his was contained and controlled. But it was still there.

"Master?" She couldn't hide the surprise in her voice. This couldn't be right. He had lived up to every ideal she had had. He was the perfect Jedi.

"It must burden you to know," he finally said, and his mouth was drawn in a regretful line, "since you believe I was so just. I began to worry that you may one day learn the truth… when I should've told you from the beginning." He sighed. "Just because we are Jedi, we are not immune to the thoughts and feelings that every other living creature experiences. We are not immune… and many Jedi forget that. I forgot that.

"What happened to you is regrettable. The Emperor got to you before you were aware of your own feelings and he revealed them, amplified them, fed off of them. Your outrage at this is only making it worse. But it is a part of you now. You cannot un-feel just as you cannot take back the swing of your lightsaber. What is done has been done and you must find a way to move forward."

"I must control it," she guessed and he nodded.

Slowly, her master reached out and let his hand hover near her chest, feeling the churning emotion and its intensity through the Force. He closed his eyes and thought things she could only guess at. Then he opened them again and lowered his hand. She read the pain in his expression and knew felt it—her guilt, her shame, and, most of all, the lives she carried because of it.

"Khana," he said sadly.

"That is irreversible, too," she whispered.

He took her hand and drew it to his chest, allowing her to feel his pain as well. The screams of tortured souls rocketed through her and she could almost hear the lightsaber swings and cuts that preceded each shriek and garbled wail.

"It is irreversible," he agreed softly. "But Khana, you are strong. You will master this and move forward. You have a great destiny. I have always known that. And you deserved a far better teacher than me to instruct you."

"I didn't…" She shook her head.

"You can master this, Khana." As he slowly began to fade, she reached out to cling to him but her fingers slipped through his translucent form. "I'm with you," he whispered. "The Force is always with you."

When the world returned to normal, Khana sunk out of her stance and slumped her shoulders, finally allowing herself a release she had held in since the day that Rask Khev Sa had died. She cried for his loss, mourned his death, and, at the same time, rejoiced his return to the Force. And with her tears, a little bit of pain and anger flowed out of her, as well.


	4. Gathering Companions

Lord Scourge met Khana out front of the temple, staring down at her with his hands behind his back as she climbed the steps. The noon sun overhead was warm, washing the temple grounds in a thriving light. Only a Sith could stand at the top of golden steps and look cold and miserable. She smiled as she came before him.

"I came to Tython to speak with your Council, and I have done so. Yet we have spent three days here wasting time that could be spent defeating the Emperor." He turned with her momentum and they walked into the temple together. "I do not have time for you to run all over the planet looking for peace. There are many worlds out there on the brink of destruction. Any one of them, should they fall, could end our chances to strike against him, and you're climbing mountains and playing in dirt."

"Have you been following me around?" Khana asked with one slender brow quirked up at him. "I don't believe I told anyone where I was going yesterday."

He narrowed his gaze on her. "It is my job to prepare you to face the Emperor, not stand around while your Jedi preach ideals at me."

"You don't have to worry about that anymore. We're leaving," she said. "I just got the word from the medical attendant that Kira is fully recovered." She spied her former padawan across the marble floor, saying her farewells to fellow Jedi. "Speaking of…"

The young human jogged over when she spotted them and bowed to Khana. The Twi'lek smiled and bowed back.

"I hear we've got a planet to save," Kira said with a smirk.

"Tee-seven is hailing us a shuttle to the orbital station as we speak. You all packed?"

Kira looked down at the robes she wore and shrugged. "Looks like." She eyed Scourge warily. "He still coming with us?"

"He's coming," Khana confirmed.

"This is going to be a long trip…" she mumbled.

The trio headed up to the second floor of the temple and to the shuttle port where they met T7 and made the short flight up to the station. They found Khana's docking bay, prepped for take-off, and then rocketed out of the station.

T7 was the first to pull up the galaxy map and select Taris as a possible destination.

"Taris?" Kira declared, catching Khana's attention.

"I don't think so, Tee-seven," Khana said quietly. "We'll head straight for Belsavis."

"Taris," Kira repeated. "Wait, why Taris? What's on Taris?"

T7 beeped several strains of information. Khana eyed her former padawan and then went back to the console in front of her.

"Sergeant Rusk and Doc took up a post there six months after we didn't come home."

"And you don't want to go get them?"

"They could've been killed on the citadel. They escaped. There are no coincidences, Kira, you know that. They are better off serving the Republic on Taris."

"Don't you think that should be up to them?" Kira balked.

"They were never my official crew. Rusk belongs to the Republic military and Doc was just along for the ride."

"Along for the…" she began but stopped. After a moment, she narrowed her gaze on her master and jumped to her feet. "You're afraid, aren't you? You're afraid of what would've happened to them had they not escaped—of what you might've done to them if they had been left behind."

"I did terrible things—"

"As a Sith under the Emperor's domination. But that wasn't you! You know that! They know that."

"I don't know that," Khana exclaimed, also getting to her feet. "I… don't know that they know that… I can't ask them to follow me after what I've done."

"I know firsthand what you've done and what you're capable of," Kira said solemnly, "and I am here, ready to follow you back out there and do what needs to be done. Don't you think that following you or not is their choice? I made mine…" Kira waited but Khana had no response. "Trust me, they'll want to see you. And besides… we can't do this alone."

Khana eventually gave in and nodded to T7. He gave a whoop of excitement and set their course for Taris. Deep inside, she felt happy. Hopeful and happy that Kira was right.

/

That night, Khana stood in front of the holocommunicator with her hand once again hovering over the transmit button. Zhan's ship signal read in the dialer and a strong connectivity meter told her that she would have no trouble reaching their frequency. Still, she couldn't do it. She couldn't make the call.

More memories of her brief life as a Sith Knight had returned—more glimpses of pain and torment. Since her talk with her master, she had slowly begun to wrap her emotions into a form she could control, but it was a long process. With the immediate flare of rage expended, all she was left with was unbridled guilt and shame.

Khana curled her fingers away from the console and tucked her hand against her chest. With a deep sigh, she realized she still didn't have the courage to contact them. So she padded over to one of the couches and slumped into it, drawing one knee up and tucking it against her chest.

She didn't have to see Scourge in the darkness to know he was there. The Force announced his presence long before he slipped into the room. She was glad he did not try to hide it.

"I sensed you were up," he told her.

"Thinking," she offered, and he accepted it wordlessly. She tugged her robes closed even tighter, suddenly cold, and studied him from her perch in the shadows.

"What?" he asked, clearly agitated at being observed.

"How does one become the Emperor's Wrath?"

"There has only ever been one," he replied, idly moving further into the room. "My training as a Sith was not far different than Korriban today. Every Sith is taught to feed off of his emotions, but I could do something very few could: I could feed off of my enemy's emotions. Their fear, their anger, their determination—all of it drove me, made me fight harder. It made me powerful. That is how I first came under the employ of Darth Nyriss, to root out and destroy her assassins. It was a ploy."

"What happened?"

"The truth was that she was a part of a larger circle of Sith attempting to overthrow the Emperor. They knew he was mad and secretly intended to go to war with the Republic. Nyriss and the others knew we'd be slaughtered, and so they plotted. I came to understand who he was and what he planned."

"And you still chose to serve him?"

"I chose to live," he corrected her. "Long enough to find one who could defeat him. I thought Revan and the Jedi Exile were my chance."

Khana shifted on the couch, tucking both feet under her thighs, and faced Scourge head on. He likewise turned to her with his full attention.

"Revan and the Exile were legends. What were they like?"

"It should not have surprised anyone that Revan turned Sith," he explained. "He knew you cannot fight the dark side without understanding it. The Exile was harder to read. Even with all she had done, she never trusted herself. With Revan, she was his student again." He folded his arms across his chest. "I liked them. I would have served them, but my vision told me they would fail." He narrowed his red gaze on her. "The only way to live long enough to find the Jedi who would kill the Emperor—to find you—was to convince him to trust me. He took my offering and gave me a place at his side. He gave me immortality. It was a gift… but not without its price."

"And the price?" she asked, but he said nothing. She sighed and looked away. "I do not know if I can do what you think I can… I don't like to think that after all this time, you've put your faith in the wrong person."

"Neither do I."

/

Taris was the same waste-ball it had been when she had walked its swamps six years ago. The spaceport even smelled the same. With a bit of reluctance, she exited the shuttle with Scourge in tow. Kira and T7 had been ordered to stay with the ship and the Sith was to come with her, mostly because she didn't want to leave Scourge and Kira alone together and she didn't entirely trust the Sith on her ship by himself.

After briefly talking with the embark chief, Khana learned that Sergeant Rusk was in the field and Doc was at the medical tent across the camp. After turning down the young chief's offer to escort her, he departed with a promise to contact Rusk's unit immediately and Khana and Scourge made their way across the base.

"You have to keep the kolto stock coming fresh, Rudi," Doc said, his back to the tent opening. If he noticed someone approaching, he didn't care. "I don't want to have to keep calling the supply officer for a brand new batch when I got patients bleeding out the door."

"I don't see anyone," Khana declared, and nearly jumped when Doc dropped the kolto syringe and it clanked loudly on the surgical table.

He whirled around, wide-eyed. He took her in fully before he spoke, almost like he was trying to decide if she was real or not. A smile cracked his expression and he rushed over, grabbed her up, and hugged her tight. When he stepped back, he stifled his joy with a sultry smirk and gave her the once over.

"It's about damn time you showed up, gorgeous," Doc said. "Who's the red guy?"

"Lord Scourge, this is Doc, my medical officer. Doc, this is Lord Scourge, my Sith ally against the Emperor."

"You know, beautiful, souvenirs are usually smaller," he remarked, clearly intimidated by the Sith's ridiculous height and broad shoulders. "So where are we headed, gorgeous?"

"You seem established," Khana noted. "I don't want to uproot you here if what you're doing is important to you. I know how much your work means to you."

"And miss saving the galaxy with you?" he asked. "Besides, I was just filling in until you got back. It was Rusk's idea. Damn Chagrian can't stay still." He smiled and she finally smiled back. "How's my old med bay, huh?"

"I trashed it."

He gaped at her. "Who got hurt?" But he withdrew the question when he understood the look on her face. "I better get up there if we're going to leave any time soon. I'll probably have to restock and reorganize if you've been digging around in there." He grasped her arm. "I'll see you up there, beautiful."

And the doctor was gone. Khana looked up at Scourge's disapproving scowl.

"What?" she asked.

"We're collecting idiots for a mission to save the galaxy."

"It's a defense mechanism," she mumbled. "He's a very talented medic."

"I'm sure," he replied mischievously, catching her eyes and holding them with a curious glint. "Gorgeous. Beautiful. How talented is he, Jedi? And here I thought it would be difficult to persuade your emotions."

She narrowed her gaze on him, feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment. "It isn't like that."

"Of course not," he agreed, and they wandered back toward the base cantina to wait.

It took Sergeant Rusk two hours to return from the field. He was covered head to toe in swamp water and mud, but wore the only semblance of a smile he possessed. After a crisp salute, he promptly requested position transfer to be back under Khana's command, and the general signed over official orders right then and there.

They took a shuttle back up to the orbital station and boarded the ship where Kira and Doc were arguing about the state of the med bay. The moment they climbed the steps into the ship, however, the argument ceased.

"Everyone get ready for departure. We're setting a course for Belsavis," Khana announced.

Everyone rushed to their particular post as Kira and Khana headed for the cockpit, prepped for take-off, and initiated the sequence. They were soon out of the station and exiting Taris space. A course for Belsavis was plotted and they plunged into hyperspace. Following departure, Khana briefed her crew on the mission at hand, explaining what Scourge had told her and the Council and what their mission now what. She gave a brief apology for her absence, and assured them it was beyond her control.

At the end of the briefing, everyone dispersed. As the others filtered out, Rusk stepped up to Khana and gave her another crisp salute.

"Master Jedi," he began. "It is not my policy to leave a man behind. I was torn between my duty to help escort the injured target to safety and my duty to guard the ship. I apologize for abandoning you at the facility. It won't happen again."

"You did exactly what I wanted you to do," Khana told him. "It's good to have you back."

"Thank you for another opportunity to serve you, Master Jedi." And he stalked off.

When Khana left the room, Doc was waiting for her, leaning against the wall next to the debriefing room. He gave her a charming smile.

"Can I have a minute?" he asked. She agreed and so she walked down to the medbay with him. "Look," he began when they were alone. "Like Rusk said, I don't make it a habit to leave anyone behind. I had a patient, but when I found out Zhan was taking off without you, I tried to leave. It was too late." He sighed and put his hands on his hips. "I felt real bad about what happened…"

"I'm glad you did what you did, Doc," Khana assured him. "I only wish you'd taken Kira with you, too. I wouldn't have wanted either of you trapped on the citadel."

"What happened out there anyway?" He waited for an answer but none came. "Look, if you don't want to tell me, that's fine. I just think you should get it off your chest, you know." He skimmed her figure. "If you ever want any help with that, let me know."

She rolled her eyes playfully and nodded as she turned to go. "As always, Doc, you'll be the first to know," she muttered, shaking her head.

As she left the med bay, she noticed Scourge at his post across the way. His red eyes glowed in the shadows and she realized he was watching her. Feeling uncomfortable, she hurried up the steps to the main deck and hid herself in her room. She quickly changed into something more comfortable, casually eyeing the dark Jedi robes still tucked away in a corner of her dresser, and then took up a post between the two statues on either side of her bedroom. Kneeling, she entered the meditative trance and continued her personal training to control her emotions.

/

It was well after the ship went to sleep when Khana awoke from her meditative trance and snuck out of her room to hit the kitchens. After her fast, she hadn't had much time to replenish her energy, and found herself needing fuel at all sorts of strange hours. After grabbing a snack, she took a quiet walk around the ship while she ate, ending her patrol when she spied Scourge in the cockpit. She casually walked in, noting that his hands were not on the console.

"I haven't touched anything, if that's what you were worried about," he said, his back still to her. She walked up to the galaxy map, double-checked they were still on course, and then leaned against it.

"What are you doing up here, then?" she asked as casually as she could.

"I like looking at hyperspace," he replied mockingly. "What are you doing here?"

"I like annoying you." She smiled and folded her arms across her chest, meeting his direct gaze head-on. He finally relented.

"I have sought the Emperor's death for so long," he admitted, turning his attention back to the hyperspace funnel they traveled through, "yet I cannot picture the galaxy without him. When I was born, the Emperor _was_ the Empire. Everything existed to feed his whims. He was so far above us. No one, Sith or slave, would have dared even form an opinion about him."

"You did," she said, catching his eyes. "I'd say joining Revan to kill him counts as an opinion. I'd say becoming the Emperor's Wrath so that you could find the person who would destroy him counts as well." She soon became uncomfortable with the tense silence that stretched between them and the way his red eyes gleamed at her. She cleared her throat. "You told me you had a vision but you never told me anything about it."

Scourge stood from the co-pilot's chair and stepped around the galaxy map so that he could stand in front of her.

"Jedi, shining with the Force," he whispered, "lined up to destroy him. All was swept aside. Revan and the Exile were cast at my feet. Then, out of the shadows, one Jedi emerged to cut the Emperor down. That Jedi wore your face. In the vision, I bowed to you and took a crown from the Emperor's head." As he spoke, he reached out to brush her brow with his fingertips, gliding back to trace the patterns tattooed on her lekku. "It ended when you held his power in your hands."

It was then that Khana understood what the gleaming look in his eyes was: lust. Before she could move, he had enveloped her, pinning her against the galaxy map's holoprojector. His broad shoulders surrounded her and she felt a pulse of fear, knowing that escaping from someone so strong would be more than a challenge.

He reached up and gripped her jaw painfully hard.

"I waited three hundred years for your birth," he whispered huskily, leaning into her. His nose pressed into her cheek, lips grazing hotly over her skin. "When I saw your face on Quesh…" But there was no need for him to finish. It was perfectly evident in his actions how he felt.

Scourge dipped his head into her neck and began sucking on her skin, his teeth and cheek tendrils tickling her until her whole body reacted. Goosebumps bloomed on her flesh and she became horrifically aware of every nerve ending in her skin. Khana tried to push him away but her hands met his arms like she was trying to push away a solid wall.

Struggling against the new sensations inside of her, she tried to focus on an effective plan to get away. The more she thought, the more she realized it was futile. He was just as powerful as her in the Force, and he fed off of others' fear and anger to make him stronger; he was also physically stronger than her and significantly larger. He had been obsessed with her for three hundred years. How could she ever hope to fight what was driving him?

Khana winced as his lips traveled across her throat to the other side, drifting down to her collarbone. He nudged the robe away, tugging it off her shoulder in his haze of desire. Her breath caught in her throat, fingers gripping his muscles without finding a hold. He bore down on her until her back was against the holoprojector. His body was like a great weight pressing onto her lungs, making it hard to breathe or move.

"Don't do this," she said, hoping she didn't sound like she felt: desperate.

"I waited for you for three hundred years," he growled, as if that were all the justification he needed. One large hand pinned her wrist back while the other glided down her side.

"Scourge, wait." She strained to keep the calm in her voice. "You don't mean this. You're mistaking devotion for desire."

"Desire," he repeated with a bark of laughter, lifting his head to meet her eyes. She inwardly shuddered at the intensity in them. "This is obsession," he admitted, and bent down to tongue her throat. He lifted to kiss her and must have felt the reflexive twitch beneath him because it spurned him on. "I've dreamt of nothing but your face for three hundred years. All those long years of service, every day without feeling—all to find you, to see you."

She had never been kissed, never experienced the things he was doing to her, never felt the feelings he was giving her. It stirred inside of her, changed something, triggered something—she couldn't be sure. But it scared her.

"Please," she tried again, and that time she heard her voice spike. "Please don't do this…"

"I watched you on the citadel," he groaned, hands roaming her curves as his lips glided to her ear. The hot pulses of breath tickled her skin, notching up the degree of sensitivity. She struggled underneath him, struggled for air, struggled to fight the sensations he was giving her. "It was all I could do those three years to wait patiently for a time to escape."

Khana heard a voice somewhere in the back of her mind. _You want this Jedi, don't you?_ the voice teased. _She is no more than a slave. And I want her for myself._ It was Scourge's voice that time. A throaty chuckle followed his reply. _What would _you_ do with a slave, Lord Scourge?_ There was something ironic in the way the voice spoke; it was an acid-like irony meant to dig painfully and deeply into a wound Khana could only guess at.

"I had to have you," he muttered, his face sinking lower on her body. "I have to have you…" His voice was suddenly weaker, as though his passion had been expended. His mouth stopped on her chest, following the pronounced rise and fall with each breath. "You are the closest I can come to feeling."

Scourge suddenly stood up and yanked himself away from her, frustration splayed on his face. Khana stood up straight and jerked her robe back over her shoulder, clutching the folds together. She gasped for labored breaths, confused and relieved by his behavior.

"I apologize," he said at length, never turning to look at her. "This will not happen again."

The reprieve from his intensity was welcome. The real question was how did she feel? Part of her felt angry at his assault, but it was a weak anger. Part of her was sympathetic to his plight. Of course he had wronged her, but his motivations remained in her conscious thought. Mostly, she wondered why a creature that had been taught to indulge in his passions had stopped himself. Or even how.

"What did you mean by that?" she whispered, finding her voice still shaky. "That I am the closest you can come to feeling."

"Immortality comes at a terrible price. Taste, smell, _touch_," it was a whisper, "color, emotion—the Emperor and I experience none of these things." He hesitated. "I do not wish to become as the Emperor and lose all tie to what once made me a man."

/

After the encounter with Scourge, Khana had locked herself in her room and curled up in her bed. Still grappling with all of the new feelings, it took her quite some time before she was able to reign all of the emotions back under control. His predicament had touched her, however, but she wasn't sure what could be done about it. Perhaps killing the Emperor would solve his problem; perhaps it could never be reversed.

When the crew was up, she changed her clothes into something presentable and pretended as though nothing had happened. She ate, meditated, and nodded politely whenever she passed Lord Scourge on the ship. And on the eve of arriving in Belsavis space, Khana knelt between that statues in her room and set her lightsabers before her.

With her anger tempered and under far more control than before, the Force flowed freely through her once again. She reached out into the world and, though her eyes were closed, she could see her lightsaber hilts rise and slowly unhinge, parts separating and scattering to let her into the heart of the weapon. The red crystals slipped free and were replaced by the blue ones she had fashioned back on Tython. Then, the hilts parts came together again, fastening until they were secure, and then they lowered gently to the ground.

Khana reached out and took her weapons in her hands again. When she engaged the blades, blue beams shot out with radiating brilliance. A sense of completion filled her. And though she knew she had a long way to go to master her anger and her emotions, Khana also knew that she was once again in control of herself.

She disengaged the blades, hooked the hilts to her belt, and crossed the ship to the back room. At the holoterminal, she dialed Zhan's ship. When the transmit button came up, she mashed it courageously.

"This is Khana Kallys of the Republic Fleet, call sign Aegis. My ship is currently entering Belsavis space, en route to the Republic command base in the Minimum Security wing. I see you're in the area." She smiled at the holoprojector. "How about it? Just like old times?"


	5. The Incident After Belsavis

Once Leeha Narez and her lover were safely aboard her ship and the course for Tython was set, Khana ran down to engineering to the small bay that Lord Scourge liked to occupy.

"Tell me," she began as she entered, prompting him to turn to face her with confusion plain on his face. "Leeha Narez was dominated, just like me. That must mean the others have been. You saw what the Emperor's having them do." More than casual concern riddled her voice. "You said I conducted several missions in the Emperor's service."

"Yes," he agreed, still unsure of her point.

"Tell me where I went," she said. "I need to know. I have to go back there and undo the damage I've done."

"Impossible."

"It isn't impossible, Scourge. Don't tell me we have other important matters to attend to. If I did anything like Leeha did, I have to make it right."

"You did," he assured her, "and worse. But it is impossible to change that now. Not because I do not want you to, but because you cannot."

"Why?" she snapped, running out of patience. She had come a long way in her mission to master her emotions, but her desperation to undo her own evil was too much to control.

"Because I do not know," he replied calmly.

"But you followed me. You watched me. You knew where I was, how I was doing."

"Yes," he agreed, "but only when you were on the citadel. Or if we were to work together—it happened only once. I could not risk alerting the Emperor to any suspicious activity by showing an express interest in you. So I had to be careful. When you became Drex Atar's pupil, I ceased to become alerted to your activities."

Khana slumped back against the doorframe and closed her eyes. "I wanted a chance to make it right…"

"You have a chance to do so much more for the galaxy," he reminded her.

True as it may be, it was too great a concept to wrap her mind around.

/

After Leeha Narez had been safely delivered to the Council and the crew had dispersed for their night off, Khana had taken the opportunity to take a nice, long bath, eat a hot meal, and go for a walk around the temple grounds. When she came full circle, she made her way down to the cantina where her crew was gathered, relaxing.

She took a survey of the room, finding Kira, Doc, and Sergeant Rusk at a table, talking and laughing; well, the humans were talking and laughing. Rusk's occasional laugh was more of an amused grunt. They all had drinks and, from the red in Doc's cheeks, at least one of them was feeling slightly inebriated. She continued her scan to find T7 was parked in a corner, energizing himself at a terminal. Lord Scourge was not present, which was not at all surprising.

"Jedi!" Doc exclaimed. "Come, sit. Have a drink with us. We were just talking about some of the finer moments of our accidental visit to Aar."

"Next time," she promised. "I'm not yet ready to relive anything that happened on Aar…"

"Afraid of a few Hutts?" Scourge said as he came up behind her.

She tilted her head up and back to look at him. "You weren't there," she insisted. "You can't understand." She grimaced, accidentally remembering some things she wished to block out of her memory. "It's enough to drive anyone to murder… if you can stop the vomiting."

Kira and Doc chuckled. Rusk frowned seriously, as though taking notes. Scourge merely eyed her cautiously and folded his arms over his chest.

"Master Jedi," the Chagrian began, "I'd like a full report on the incident, if I may. I'd like to have the best strategy for extermination should we encounter such targets in the future."

"Oh we didn't kill anyone," Kira corrected him, laughter bright in her eyes. "That's part of the reason it's so funny."

"No one?" Rusk asked, shocked and seemingly disapproving.

"Everyone deserves a… second chance," Khana mumbled with a grin.

Doc and Kira laughed some more and Rusk bent his head in thought, brow creased as he attempted to work it out militarily. Scourge shook his head.

"I am surprised that once your Council finishes its brainwashing, any Jedi has a spine left to oppose the Emperor," he commented.

"I don't remember that being part of the normal curriculum, do you?" Kira asked.

Khana shook her head. "I think I've more than demonstrated my spine is intact, Lord Scourge."

He smirked. "Then perhaps you are young enough to still cultivate the strength of the Sith."

"If you came here to turn me to the dark side," Khana began lowly and with a smile, "you'll be disappointed."

"I came to defeat the Emperor," he reminded her, casually turning away; his tone and movements were calm and fluid, and she knew he was joking with her. "Turning you to the dark side is purely for my own amusement."

She laughed and waved to the others, following him out of the cantina. They walked in silence up to the balcony where they had once sparred. It seemed like ages ago in the wake of Belsavis, and yet nothing had changed. The stars still glittered in multitudes, the crickets chirped pleasantly, and a balmy breeze rustled the leaves of the surrounding trees.

She rested her elbows on the stone railing, enjoying the atmosphere. Since the incident in the cockpit, Scourge had been a perfect companion to handle the intensity their mission brought to the table: serious, dedicated, respectful, and only a little stern. Slowly, he had warmed up to her and they had developed a strange sort of friendship. Once in awhile, they could even joke at each other.

"I now understand why your Council tries to control your pleasure as well as your anger," he said out of the blue. "Pleasure is a far more powerful motivator."

"What makes pleasure more dangerous than other emotions?" she wanted to know, finding it hard to believe. Her anger had certainly seemed more dangerous than anything she could feel.

"Pleasure is the foundation of all desires," he replied. "There is nothing that inspires so much anger as thwarted longing."

When their eyes met, she felt an awkward twirl in her gut and her chest tightened in warning. She wondered if he meant them when he spoke. As promised, he had never touched her again, and he had never spoken of what had happened. She knew that did not mean he didn't think of it all the time or that he didn't still feel the same way.

She also felt more than a little apprehension at the possibility that the anger of thwarted longing could be somehow greater than what she had felt.

"I still remember the feel of sunlight on my skin," he continued quietly. "The scent of favorite foods. The color of my first love's eyes."

This struck her as interesting. The Jedi were not allowed to love because of love's ability to form deep and near-unbreakable attachments. She knew the Sith indulged in their emotions, but she had never given them enough credence to think they had the capacity for love. The Sith seemed too angry and too conniving for such a selfless and joyful emotion like love.

Imagining Scourge in love was… too hard.

"To experience those simple pleasures again," he mumbled gutturally, "would be worth _anything_."

"Maybe, once the Emperor is defeated, the hold will be broken," she suggested.

"Perhaps, though it is unlikely. This ritual was performed on me. Regardless of who conducted it, I will be the one to bear the burden. I can hope, however, that is not the case. We will see."

"There might… be another way," Khana began cautiously. He eyed her apprehensively. "The Jedi have many techniques—ancient and powerful—that work against the dark side's corruptions."

He scoffed and started to turn away.

"You once told me not to underestimate the dark side," she reminded him. "You should not underestimate the light."

Scourge stopped and glanced back at her. "That is not very Jedi-like, trying to help an unfeeling man regain his capacity for emotion. Your teachings preach against those things."

"For Jedi," she agreed. "You are not a Jedi. And… I do not think that you should suffer."

His hard stare lasted only a moment longer before he made a tch noise and walked away. Khana sighed and went back to leaning on the railing. She decided she would find a way to help him—to kill the Emperor and end his suffering or find the Jedi cure. Perhaps Kre'tan, she mused, might know of a ritual herself.

If the dark side could destroy, the light side could restore.


	6. The Incident After Voss

As the shuttle landed at Voss-Ka and the rest of Khana's crew dispersed into the city, Lord Scourge hung back. She was used to his presence, since he either preferred her company or none at all. Even after all the time they had been traveling together, Scourge had found no love or attachments to any of her crewmates. They had managed to strengthen his tolerance, nothing more.

Khana smiled briefly at him, his expression hidden mostly under the cowl of his robes, and moved away from the city and into the autumn-red woods at the edge of Voss-Ka. Scourge fell in step beside her. The pace was casual—a stroll through a beautiful forest, which was so unlike their previous pace, dashing here and there on mission after mission. She had barely noticed how serene the forests of Voss were. Now, she could feel their energy. She could feel the Force in every branch and leaf and trunk.

Somehow, the darkness that lurked inside of her seemed to shrink even smaller among these trees. It was peace she hadn't felt in a long time. It was wonderful.

"It has been… enlightening to spend so much time among you and your Jedi," he began, bringing her out of her thoughts. "For three hundred years, I have spoken to no one but Sith. And they do not change."

Khana looked up at him in curiosity. The secret glimpses into the Sith culture were something she anticipated; not for any military reason or strategic interest, but because she found she had a general desire to learn about the mysterious culture. As an outsider, she could never know the truth. But hearing it from Scourge was fascinating.

Maybe, she would never have cared if he had never been the one to start talking about it. Maybe she would never have cared if he had been chiss or human or zabrak or twi'lek. Perhaps, she never would have cared if he had not come into her life at all. Somehow, Scourge had become someone she depended on, though she never would tell him that; he had knowledge and strength in the dark side, but also in the light—though she doubt he knew. His bend away from the Emperor was more than just his self-preservation at work. She knew there was good in him, but that was a truth he would never receive. Not from her.

Day by day, moment by moment, she wanted to help him see the other side of the galaxy… and of the Force.

"Oh?" she prompted and turned to face him, walking backwards as he talked.

"They are the same on Korriban now as in my childhood. The same tricks, the same fights," he somehow sounded tired by that notion, and then his tone shifted to a bitter one, "the same groveling and mind control."

Khana grinned at him. "Was that almost a compliment?"

"I am only surprised," he snapped, "that I have learned the most of the Force from the Jedi." He stopped walking and so did she. "Revan taught me to be effective when I became the Emperor's Wrath. And now I have learned as much from you…"

A long moment stretched out between them, their eyes locked in an all-out battle of truths.

"You have opened my eyes as well," she said at length. He took one step toward her, arms crossed over his broad chest, and reminded her with his height just how easily he could overpower her.

"And here I thought you weren't listening…" he muttered quietly.

Khana turned away from him so that she could hide the sudden heat in her face. She wasn't sure why she was embarrassed, but was determined not to reveal it. She started walking again, not surprised when the crunch of leaves continued behind her.

"If you could return to how you were," she began tentatively, "to feeling, to experiencing emotion… it may make you mortal once again." She briefly glanced over her shoulder. "Are you okay with that?"

"I said that it would be worth anything, didn't I?" he said bluntly, tone hard and almost reprimanding. She nodded as he pulled his hood back and let it drop away from his face.

"I have to be sure," she told him, "that you would regret nothing."

"What is there to regret? I am Sith. I made all the right moves and even became second to the Emperor himself."

"You threw that away when you decided to help me."

"I did it because of you," he reminded her, "to find you and save the Empire from the madness threatening to destroy it."

"And yet you have never expressed making a move for that power once the Emperor is gone. Why throw your immortality away when you could be the new Emperor and guide the Empire in the way you think it should be?"

He raised his brows. "You have surprised me, Jedi. You have the heart of a Sith." He ignored the glare she shot back at him. "Had you been born on Korriban, you would be sitting on the Dark Council now."

"I do not need to be Sith to understand you," she reminded him.

"And yet you once were."

"I don't remember that…" she said quietly, staring at the colorful leaves piled on the ground—pretending to admire the sea of reds, oranges, and yellows clustered together.

"Still?" he asked, and some trace of genuine care or… concern, perhaps, was evident in his voice.

"Glimpses," Khana confessed, and then made eye contact. "Scourge… When we kill the Emperor, what are your plans?"

He narrowed his gaze on her. "You were all I saw in my vision. I do not know what happens after that."

"Don't deflect," she said seriously. "Will you turn on me, too, and take the throne for yourself? I've been used by far too many Sith to eliminate their rivals."

"Is that what you think this is?" he growled, stalking toward her threateningly.

"No," she replied. "I trust you. And that may turn out to be one of my most foolish mistakes. But I do trust you. I do not want to fight you when the time comes."

"That is not my intention," he told her. "Your… trust is something I have come to… value." He almost choked on the sincerity. "You are perhaps the only person I have met who does trust me."

"The Emperor—"

"The Emperor controlled me," he corrected her before she could get any further. "It is not the same."

"Then… when he is dead, where does that leave you?"

"I do not know…" he replied honestly.

"You can always stay," she offered. "Nothing will change regarding my mission. I am still a Jedi. I always will be… even with the part of me that was and remains Sith."

Scourge walked a bit ahead of her, stopping at an overlook that crested the plains and valleys of the Old Paths. She watched his back for a while, at the cloak undulating in the gentle breeze, before she quietly came to stand beside him. The sun was setting and the orange, forest glow was fading fast. The dark purple and blues of night were crowding in on the faint light on the horizon.

"Perhaps… I will see what other marks you will make on the galaxy. I am sure you will need more guidance." He glanced down at her. "You will always be Jedi. And I will always be Sith."

"Does that mean we can still work together?" she asked with a smile, remembering the words he'd used at their first meeting. He merely crossed his arms over his chest, ignoring answering her directly.

"Had you been instructed in the true way of the Force, the galaxy could not match your power. You are strong in the Force… _Too_ strong for the restrictions the Jedi impose. I will make sure that mistake does not happen again."

"Is that a compliment or a threat?" she mumbled lightly.

"How did you take it?"

She sighed. "There is strength in the light you do not see."

"Perhaps," he consented, "but that does not justify the Jedi teachings. I understand why your Council controls you. What I'll never comprehend is why you let them."

"It isn't control," she assured him. "Besides, since… that time," she knew he would know she was referring to her fall to the dark side, "I have found new answers to old questions. But I will always be Jedi."

"It is too late to turn you fully from the light," he assessed. "But should your children have a connection to the Force, I will see them properly trained."

"Tsh. Any children I have will be Jedi," Khana told him, her playfulness disguised with mock seriousness.

"Ha," he laughed. "Were you true to Jedi teachings, your protests would be that you will never have children of your body."

She laughed as a gentle breeze hit her face and darkness started to settle over Voss-Ka.

"But you will turn away from those shackles," he said seriously as he turned to her, "as you have so many others."

Khana did not know what else to say.


	7. The Incident After Corellia

Khana peaked into the bay where Scourge had taken up spending most of his time. The ship was still with sleep and only the hum of the hyperdrive and the rumble of the ship traveling through hyperspace. His back was to her but his head lifted in acknowledgement of her presence.

"We have set course for Dromund Kaas?" he asked.

"We have," she replied quietly.

"Then it will all be over soon."

There was a beat of silence and then Khana crossed over to him.

"Scourge…" she began quietly. "Before we get to Dromund Kaas and face the Emperor… before we know what will become of you—or any of us, I imagine…"

He turned to face her with his usual, overpowering form. "Just say what it is you came to say."

"I wanted to try something in case killing the Emperor doesn't restore you." She swallowed the lump in her throat, worried over her sudden nervousness. "I was researching your situation when I suddenly realized something I should have long ago… The basic fundamentals of the Jedi teachings—probably the Sith, as well. And that is to shut down your senses and see, feel through the Force."

Scourge's sharp inhale was quiet and barely noticeable but she sensed it.

"Will you try it? Or will you scoff at Jedi teachings?"

Her voice sounded so loud in the proceeding quiet. She watched anxiously as he stared with an unreadable expression before finally affirming his participation with a short nod. Khana smiled and dropped to her knees, motioning him down as well.

"Are you sure you wish to invite this idea into my mind?" he asked, red eyes boring into hers, stopping her words in her throat. "If I lose control again, I may not be able to stop."

"You resisted all this time—"

"Because I could do nothing about it. If you have found a way…" He trailed off. "I do not know what I will do, not after all these years of waiting."

"Will you even try?"

For the first time in a long time, she saw a flicker of hunger in his gaze. "I don't know."

Khana adjusted her stance to make herself more comfortable and closed her eyes, ignoring his warning.

"Close your eyes… and fill yourself with the Force. You're probably used to tapping into rage and hate… but try to push all of those emotions out of your mind. Empty yourself so that there is only the Force… from head to toe. Become part of it."

And as she spoke, she could sense his presence in the Force. She could feel him filling to the brim, letting go of his identity as a Sith. She, too, filled herself with the Force, let go of the Jedi in her, let go of everything. When she opened her eyes, she waited patiently for him to open his. When he did, he was almost glowing from the inside out and his red eyes were calm and bright, as though they were seeing for the first time.

"I can see you…" he whispered. "Your blue skin. Your purple eyes. It… goes in and out. It's faded but… I can see."

Khana reached out and touched her fingertips to his large knuckles and skimmed along the back of his hand. He sighed—a pleasured, relieved sigh. Lifting his hand, he also touched her thin fingers, her long hand, her wrist; the parts he touched looked so small in his paw.

"I can feel you," he told her, and then she felt his presence amplify.

Every idea that Scourge had physically communicated that night on the galactic map bloomed inside of him in that moment, and then some. Lust, desire, obsession, domination. Khana did not have time to react before he snatched her wrist and yanked her into him. His other arm wrapped under her, guiding her onto his lap so that her legs straddled his waist. His whole body was electric with the Force, causing her senses to tingle.

"Don't," was all she got out before his lips crushed against hers.

"I warned you," he muttered hungrily. "You invited this on yourself…"

Khana tried to pull away, but he was an immovable obstacle. She tried to squirm out of his grip, turn away from his advances, but he was overwhelming, overpowering, and held her fast.

"You can't get away from me," he whispered against her neck. "I don't think you want to." His mouth traveled across her collarbone and up her throat, tongue anxiously tasting her flesh. "I can sense your thoughts," he continued as he worked his way along her jaw. "Your curiosity… your excitement…" He ran his hand up her stomach and abdomen then pushed his fingertips into her shirt, pressing his palm between her breasts. "Your pleasure…"

Khana was terrified and stimulated at the same time. She couldn't sort her own feelings out enough to know whether he was right or not. The Jedi teachings pounded insistently in the back of her head, reminding her over and over again that this was forbidden. Yet something else—a louder voice was pushing out those Jedi teachings. The louder voice was a foreign emotion, an emotion that tingled, that longed for the sensations he gave her. It felt good.

She tentatively held onto his arms and didn't even recognize the sigh that passed her lips. It was all the encouragement he needed. He held her tighter and kissed her mouth as though he were trying to devour her. She barely had time to react before he had her on her back and was looming over her, hands moving across her body as though he were desperate to touch all of it at once. He wrapped her legs around her waist, pressed into her so that she could feel the nature of his desire between her thighs. A strange sensation shot up through her stomach, and then she was consumed with opposing emotions—pleasure and panic. So she began to fight back.

They wrestled there on the floor, rolling from one side of the room to the other. He was stronger than she was, but he had been too distracted with his desire to expect what was coming. With her squirming and kicking and twisting, he had a difficult time restraining her.

"Be still!" he grunted, and it made Khana fight that much harder… because she wanted to be still, she wanted those good feelings again, and that frightened her. She fought until he finally exclaimed, "Khana!"

He had never called her name before. For a brief moment, she went still and, in that heartbeat of a pause, he scooped her up and held her tightly. Her fingernails dug into his massive arms, waiting to wrestle against another onslaught, but he only held her. It was a long while before she relaxed into his hug and, when she finally did, he shifted his head into the crook of her neck and shoulder and tightened his arms around her.

"I warned you," he said after an eternity of silence had passed.

"I know," she whispered, voice shaky. She couldn't seem to catch her breath, too nervous and confused by what had happened and what was still happening. "I do not blame you."

"You blame yourself," he assumed, lifting his head so that his lips were against her cheek. "You wanted it."

"No," she immediately barked, but stopped. Then, honestly, she said, "I… don't know what I want…"

Scourge released her, holding her far enough from him to look her in the eyes. "Well, Jedi," he began, "that's a start."

She scrambled to her feet and backed out of the room, unable to break eye contact until she had stepped over the threshold. Then, she was racing up the stairs and back to her room. Soon, they would arrive at Dromund Kaas and she would face the Emperor. Scourge would be free—whether his mortality and feeling returned to him or not—and a whole new world of opportunity would arrive. For him and for her.

She held her hand to her chest and laid on her best, feeling her heart still racing. _Emotion, yet peace,_ the mantra had said. Couldn't she feel this way about Scourge and still find peace? Or were the two impossible to coincide? She wanted to go back down there. She wanted to be in his presence. It did something to her, for her. Just as the teachings she clung to, he was also a kind of strength.

She pulled herself up and took a meditative stance. Was this feeling wrong? Perhaps so, perhaps not. And the moment the Emperor was dead, Khana planned to find out for herself.

THE END


End file.
